Movie Review: Snowpiercer Starring Chris Evans, Ed Harris, Tilda Swinton

Arguably the most liberal (or conservative?), stupidest movie I’ve seen from beginning to end is the Korean dystopian thriller “Snowpiercer.” It stars Captain America himself, Chris Evans, as a psychopathically idealistic derelict on the wrong end of the train, so to speak. The world has come to an end, thanks to overzealous scientists who, in an attempt to stop global warming, actually started an ice age. Survivors of humanity live on a train that circles the globe with a perpetual motion engine. Never mind the logistics and manpower to build a train track that circles Earth by 2014.

Poor are quarantined in the back; rich live lavishly near the front; in between, wonderful instances of science at its best. For instance, somehow, one locomotive absorbs snow, generating society sustaining amounts of water, while other sections organically grow plants, fish (think an occasional stingray), and even insects. The latter are ground and formed into protein blocks for the tail-end folks. Those up front dine on salmon sashimi and eat fruit, like a hippier Steve Jobs.

Kelly Masterson’s screenplay also includes innumerable political statements on such topics as child slavery, gun violence, cannibalism, corporal punishment, sustainability, processed versus natural foods, luxury versus poverty, drug addiction, rebellion, friendship versus eating that friend’s baby, and there’s even a nod to Noah’s ark.

Ultimate question, ultimate takeaway: Would you sacrifice your arm to save a kid from child slavery, thereby killing 95% of humanity? Would you blow up a train so that your child can walk in snow? I say no to both illogical moral statements.

Although “Snowpiercer” is directed by Bong Joon-Ho of South Korea, expect a screenplay that’s mostly English. Check out Joon-Ho’s earlier masterpiece, “The Host.” Very provocative, minus political innuendo.


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