Angry Tummy: Bad Bar Food and Guilt

The thing about Sylvania is that its citizens eat out a lot, whether the restaurant exemplifies good or bad. They frequently support local restaurants like The Village Inn, where the food is plain, ordinary, and over-priced. As bar food goes, Village Inn compares well to competitors. The drinks are equally weak and diluted. The loud music radiates down a half mile. However, when reviewing them based on customer satisfaction and taste, it is hard not to question why so many people frequent the bar.

The interesting part about hot food is the developing machoism present before and after anyone eats something spicy. On Travel Channel’s Man vs. Food, Adam Richman attempts several hot food challenges, and those are his most popular episodes. There’s even a show on Food Network called Heat Seekers, following two men who attempt to eat the hottest food in America, almost always failing to finish a dish. This machismo is a principle characteristic in all who appreciate a strong spice to their meal.

When the menu item advertises itself as “extreme” and ends up embracing a pedestrian level of spice, a customer’s machoism is put to the test. What happens after eating the hottest wings at the Village Inn is an incredible sense of letdown. I’ve decided to take the left overs home to my kitchen, pan sear them for more texture, and dowse the wings in Buffalo Wild Wings Extreme sauce, like apples and oranges.

Equally disappointing were the beer battered white mushrooms. They were too moist, which is bound to happen because lots of vegetables maintain moisture deep-fried. I also question the batter, tasting nothing of beer. And to top off the experience, the lackluster customer service annoyed everyone at the table. The waitress occasionally checked up on us, and had to be flagged down several times. She overcharged one bill; not only a huge inconvenience for her to change the tab, but in a sense, an indictment of the customer who wouldn’t pay for his friend’s drink.

In truth, I prayed that there would be a homeless person asking for food or money on my way home. Often times someone holds a sign on the corner of Airport and Holland Sylvania. I imagined giving him my leftovers, a couple of bottled waters. Empty streets. No luck tonight.

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